Every Need Is Not a Call

Focusing on the right community ministry

I frequently work with churches that are located in communities with multiple needs and issues. In urban neighborhoods, and more frequently now in suburbs and rural communities, you might find the following issues:

• high levels of unemployment, with families struggling to meet basic needs as a result
• an achievement gap between children who live in poverty and those who don't, resulting in lower graduation rates and college attendance for youth from poor families
• a lack of affordable housing that has driven some people into homelessness

Trying to meet all the needs that you see is counter-productive. It's likely your church won't be good at responding to them all, and if you try, your impact on the community will be minimal. So a critical step in developing effective community ministry programs is focus: making good choices about the one or two areas in which your congregation will work.

I've found that asking the following questions can help a congregation become more focused in developing community ministry:

What does the community say that it wants your church to do?
Don't overlook what the people in the neighborhood surrounding your church say about what they want and need. You may be able to use information from groups that have already surveyed community needs in your area—the United Way, for example, or a community council. Or better yet, your church members and staff can connect one-on-one or in small groups with community residents, asking them a few key questions:

• what do you think are the main challenges or concerns in this community?
• who is dealing with them best?
• what can our church do to best serve the community?

What other services are provided in your area to address these needs?
Another way to bring focus is to investigate what other services are being provided in your area. If an issue is already being well-addressed, perhaps your congregation doesn't need to respond with new programming. Send church members to identify and tour other programs, meeting with key staff and observing what's offered. It's a way to see from the ground level the services that are being provided, plus it's a way for your church to build needed relationships in the community. You may learn that your congregation's role is different than you thought—instead of starting your own ministry, you may decide to partner with an existing one, providing volunteers from your church and financial support, for example.

What are the people in your church passionate about?
The most successful community ministries I have seen are driven by the passion of the people in the congregation. What issues can the people in your church not stop talking about? When I have served as a church staff member, I knew God was up to something when different church members who didn't even know each other would approach me about the same ministry idea. Bringing them together to share their passion for this new "seed" of ministry was the most critical step in moving forward into greater service to the community.

What gifts and skills are particularly present in your congregation?
It's hard to develop a successful ministry if you don't have the expertise or gifting to pull it off. Often congregations have clusters of particular skills—lots of people in the arts, for example, or teachers, attorneys, or people in the skilled trades. These skill sets ought to inform the ministries you choose to undertake. One church I worked with was a natural fit with housing programs, because there were so many people in the congregation working in the industry—real estate, construction, property management, etc. There are often clusters of spiritual gifts within congregations as well. If there are a number of people with the spiritual gift of hospitality in your church, for example, you may naturally move toward sponsoring community meals or special events for children.

In the face of so many needs in the community, it's tempting to try to respond to them all. But working toward an early focus in your community ministry will help you be more effective in serving the community and in developing your church members to use their gifts and skills in service.

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Five Tips for Creating a Mentor Program

The key to cultivating exceptional leaders

Things change continually in ministry, for better and worse. One area that seems to have improved drastically over the past 15 years or so, though, is the emphasis placed on mentoring and its role in creating fully engaged employees.

Being good stewards of resources goes far beyond just dollars and cents. Mentoring allows us to be good stewards of one of the greatest resources we have in ministry—people.
Mentoring is the practice of connecting an individual with someone who has “been there and done that.” It can play a key role in the development of a staff member into an exceptional employee or leader. Many people spend more of their waking hours at work than anywhere else, and this can be especially true in ministry. If people only learn how to technically perform their job, they are missing out on a much more balanced, well-rounded approach to their role.

Here are five tips for a successful mentoring program:

1. If it’s just going to be a program, don’t even start it. Doing this right requires commitment and a true concern for staff. Any other motivation will quickly become apparent and may sabotage your efforts.

2. Make sure it’s a good fit for the employee. Arbitrarily assigning someone a mentor may hinder open dialogue. Instead, identify potential mentors and allow individuals to select who they would like to be paired with. Mentors need to be individuals who not only have experience, but are also committed to the organization. Mentors will impact the people they mentor and should care about them personally while also helping them understand their role and potential growth in the ministry.

3. Mentoring relationships should always be same-gender. Not everyone would agree with this position, but it is a distinguishing characteristic between coaching and mentoring. Coaching is focused on the job and its tasks and could result in a male/female pairing, since the focus is solely on workplace issues. Mentoring, however, is more role- and life-related. It would be inappropriate for a female employee to share with a male mentor that she is having difficulty managing the responsibilities of work and home life, and that this is causing a strain on her marriage. For a mentoring relationship to be fully effective, life issues need to be discussed. Mentors are entrusted with trying to help employees grow and develop personally and professionally, and you need to make sure no one is put into a position that could cause them to stumble and damage any of the relationships they are trying to nurture.

4. Make sure both individuals are committed to the process. Mentoring requires a time commitment, and each person needs to be willing to invest in it. If mentors don’t make time to meet consistently, it will be apparent to the individual being mentored that this is not a priority. Likewise, if the mentor doesn’t feel that the individual cares about the process, it can seem like a waste of time. If both parties are committed to the process, the likelihood of success is high. This commitment should be reevaluated annually and any necessary changes, such as new mentor, made at that time.

5. Not everyone is a mentor. Keep in mind that not all individuals—including those in leadership—are designed to be mentors. If mentoring seems like a chore to someone, they probably shouldn’t be involved, and that needs to be acceptable. We don’t all preach. We don’t all handle finance decisions. We don’t all work with youth. We won’t all make good mentors.

The actual specifics of a mentoring program can, and should, vary. Some people find it helpful to have a specific agenda, and may choose to work through a book or study. Others may prefer to just have time set aside to reflect and engage in a genuine conversation. Mentors need the flexibility to determine what is best in their particular circumstances.

Finally, those in leadership positions often find it difficult to identify a mentor. This is especially true for women in ministry leadership, who may be blazing a trail with no one really ahead of them in their organization. If you find yourself in this position, you can identify someone in another organization or through your church who has experience and characteristics you can learn from. Most people will be honored to help someone in this way.

As we serve alongside each other, we can use the gifts and experiences God has given us to help some and accept encouragement from others. How could mentoring work as a way for your ministry team to be more engaged in developing new leaders?

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Trouble with Authority

You're bound to be tested

It didn’t take long to face opposition once I started a career in ministry. Of course, I had a lot of strikes against me from the start. First of all, I was young, fresh out of college, and in my first-ever paid ministry role. On top of that, I was a woman, the only woman serving with the pastoral staff. And, probably most significant, I was hired to launch a brand new ministry—church-wide adult small groups, a ministry most in the church knew nothing about and had no interest in.

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5 Things you need in Ministry

Rookie year reflections

Next month marks my one year anniversary of working in paid ministry. It's been a year full of joy, surprises, and challenges of all kinds. Here are five things I've learned in my rookie year:

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Amped Up from the Blackout

The hurricane may have knocked us off the grid, but we were far from powerless.

Hurricane Irene blustered her way up the East Coast, downing trees, toppling cars, and leaving seven million people (including our family) in the dark. We were without power for four days. I missed it desperately—my laptop, smartphone, televisions, refrigerator, hair straightener, and garbage disposal. (Yes, I missed my garbage disposal.) But now that I’m back on the grid, I also miss our blackout. Because what I saw happen without power that first post-storm Sunday morning was powerful without one amp of electricity.

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The Cure for Influence-itis

Doing for one what I wish I could do for all

The first time I asked this question, I was a volunteer women’s director with three children under six. Now, I’m on a church staff, but the demands of the role and my family continue to make it impossible to reach everyone. I struggled then (and still do) with understanding how to care for so many needs with such limited time.“I understand how to tell people that I can’t meet with them soon,” I said to my pastor over coffee several years ago, “but how can I possibly tell them I can’t meet with them ever?” I was experiencing my first round of influence-itis, the toxic, nagging feeling of being needed by too many people.

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Embracing Weakness

It pays to be honest about our shortcomings

Don’t get me wrong, most of us are happy to preach about weakness, write about weakness, and even encourage others to be open about their weakness. But something about the public nature of our leadership roles, or perhaps our own pride, makes it harder for us to be honest about our own shortcomings. After all, what would people think if they learned that you and I are light years away from having it all figured out? Christian leaders love to talk about strengths. Want proof? Just ask your pastor to list her spiritual gifts, talk about his areas of passion, or tell you her Myers-Briggs profile (any other ENTJ’s out there?). You’re sure to get an enthusiastic response. But ask that same leader to tell you about her areas of weakness, and she might be slightly less excited to engage with you.

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How Did Jesus Teach?

The answer helps me keep my ambition in check

Ambition isn’t unique to women. Men strive to get ahead just like we do. But within women’s leadership circles, I’m noticing a troubling trend: In our rally cry to gain a place in the pulpit, we may be losing something else—our heart for servanthood.Recently, a friend shared a conversation she’d had with another woman in leadership. “All she talked about is how no one will support her preaching, and how she’s having a hard time getting ordained. Not once did she talk about serving, or call, or God’s direction.”

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Leadership, the AA Way Getting real and leading authentically

Getting real and leading authentically

I used to think Alcoholics Anonymous was all stale prayers and smoky church basements. I considered myself a distant admirer of the program, but even as a counselor, I didn’t want to get too close. AA was a good idea for some people, but surely it wasn’t relevant to my busy life of “making a difference” in women’s ministry.

Last summer my stereotypes were shattered through a course called “Substance Abuse and Society,” which gave me a firsthand glimpse into the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Like the church, AA encourages people to seek healing and growth. But sometimes unlike church, AA prizes authenticity—in a Jesus kind of way. I was surprised at how much I gleaned about leadership in those church basements. Take a journey through a few of the Twelve Steps to examine your authenticity as a leader:

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Is It God’s Will?

The Leader and Decision-Making

As a leader—of myself, of my children, of a ministry—I find no greater source of angst than making difficult decisions. I wonder and pray and talk with others about whether or not plan A or plan B or starting this and quitting that is “God’s will.”

The phrase itself has become so overused—and misused—that I wonder if “God’s will” is just “the best plan I could think of” dressed up in spiritual clothing. Can we really know God’s will for our decisions? Should I expect God to give specific guidance in every decision I need to make?

Searching Scripture reveals five simple truths we can rely on when making decisions:

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Collaborative Leadership

Even on the narrow way, there is room for people walking side by side.

The most efficient way to lead, if you want to be completely pragmatic about it, is via dictatorship. A system in which one person makes all the autonomous decisions is, at least for a while, the most efficient, the least messy.

But power corrupts, and ultimately, while decisions get made and orders are carried out, those decisions are often bad ones. Great execution of a bad decision is still, well, a mess. Dictatorship, even benevolent dictatorship, is neither healthy nor biblical.

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The Titanic Need for Authentic Leaders

How do you exercise authority without pretending you have it all together?

Sometimes I’m embarrassed to admit that I would rather jam out to My Chemical Romance than contemporary Christian music. “His Banner over Me,” frankly, gives me heart palpitations. But “Welcome to the Black Parade”? Now that preaches. This may seem inconsistent with my profession as a writer and professor of Christian spiritual formation and leadership, but actually, nothing could be more emblematic of the changing leadership paradigms in the church.

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Finding Contentment in Leadership: The right focus can bring a new perspective

Fresh out of college and full of hope, enthusiasm, and confidence, I was ready to change the world, one pimply teenager at a time. As the school year crawled by, the demands of teaching 125 high school students wore on my optimism. Those kids seemed impervious to my influence, and there were so many things I needed to change to get my classroom running more smoothly.

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Everybody’s Friend, Nobody’s Leader

Sharon and Tracy had worked extremely well together for many years. Both were surprised when Sharon was promoted, effectively leaving Tracy under her supervision. Sharon didn’t notice the initial subtle changes to the relationship, she was just so pleased about the promotion and the opportunity to try out her ideas. So it took her a while to recognise the signs of aloofness and the slightly cutting comments Tracy made to any of Sharon’s suggestions. These days it felt as if Tracy was actively avoiding her, spending as little time as possible in her company. In addition, Tracy always seemed to be in conversation with others when she should be working. It was beginning to affect the entire team who were also becoming increasingly uncooperative. Sharon knew she would have to do something soon or risk an all-out revolt, but Tracy was her friend, they had been through a lot together and she felt awkward about pulling rank at a time when Tracy probably needed her friendship more than ever . . .

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Nice Girls Don't Ask: Three thought patterns that keep us from speaking up

Feeling underappreciated and overlooked, I decided to talk with my team leader. I'm embarrassed to tell you I allowed my frustration to fester for several weeks before I said a word. I didn't want to be "that" girl¬—whiny, needy, and demanding.

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Mentoring as Discipleship

After more than 10 years of teaching the Bible, 14 years of discipling and mentoring women, and launching two women’s mentoring ministries, I realized two things are needed for ministry: a clear focus and training. Our women’s mentoring ministry provides a focus and intentionally unlike any other church ministry I have witnessed. Throughout a 10-month mentoring season, our groups meet once a month for a period of three hours at each gathering. This gives the women opportune times to complete their required reading, memorize Scripture verses, journal, intercede for their sisters in Christ, and most important, spend quality time with the Lord in personal reflection concerning what it is he is teaching them throughout the month.

I have to be honest with you, not everyone takes

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Mentoring your protégés

Throughout history, if someone wanted to learn a particular skill, he or she would find a master or mentor to guide them. This person seeking to learn and grow is called aprotégé. And like any skill or trade, ministry leadership involves a set of abilities that must be developed and cultivated.

There are countless protégés simply waiting for an experienced master of their trade or wise mentor, but they so often become lost in the deficit of strong and developmental leadership that is so absent and misprioritized in today’s culture, and in today’s church. Where do these hungry protégés go to learn the skills and character they long to develop so that they can maximize their impact in the world? Who do they seek out to guide them on this critical journey?

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Leading Yourself :You can’t keep going on empty

You are a leader. A leader is defined simply as someone who guides or inspires others. You figure out where you and your team need to go and then you help them envision the future. You empower them to make a plan to get there together. You take care of your team members, pour into them, pray for them, take care of their souls.

But who takes care of yours?

I was introduced to the concept of leading myself at aWillow Creek conference a few years back. Senior Pastor Bill Hybels talked about the importance of leading the most difficult person in your ministry—you. You cannot lead others where you have never been or are maybe even not willing to go. So leaders need to work on setting up disciplines for ourselves that will put us in a posture where we are more able to hear and be led by God.

Solitude

Take regular timeouts to be alone with God—extended periods of solitude are excellent for your soul and necessary for your leadership. As leaders, we pour out into others constantly. For some of us, that’s simply an extension of who we were created to be. But for others—us flaming introverts—ministry is a different kind of draining. Either way, time alone is imperative.

When my kids were smaller, a girlfriend and I swapped babysitting once a month—she’d watch my kids for three hours, then two weeks later, I’d watch hers for three hours. We did this specifically to free each other for time of solitude at a park or coffee shop or the library. I also started a tradition of taking a retreat by myself twice a year, shooting for a few days over Christmas break and in August, just before the ministry year kicked off. This gave me a longer stretch of time to pray, think, read the Bible, read books that had been piling up, and simply enjoy being a child of God in his presence.

While you’re alone, you can ask yourself these questions to make sure that you are pursuing God more and more deeply and drawing on his strength:

- Joy. Do you experience joyful moments on a regular basis? Describe the last time.
- Pain. When a painful circumstance comes into your life, what is your go-to response? 
God’s Word. How often are you getting into God’s Word, and what are you currently learning?
- Disciplines. What spiritual disciplines are you employing recently?
- Friendship. Describe your relationships with your three closest friends. What are you doing to pour into those relationships?
- Health. What is your current health status? Are you sleeping, eating, and exercising well?

Relationships

I have learned a lot about how I relate with other women. I am most healthy in my relationships with women when I have a close circle of a few girlfriends I can count on. And thanks to a little tip I learned a few years ago, I have five close girlfriends I love deeply. Three of them attend my church and two do not. If I am ever having a really hard time with something (or someone) at church, I actually try to share with one of the two friends who don’t attend my church. It can be a relief to get an outside perspective and to share without feeling like I’m gossiping. Odds are, they will never meet the people I am needing to vent or get advice about.

Skill Set

Take some steps to stay sharp in your particular area of ministry. Go to conferences when you can. Listen to seminars on CD or through podcasts. Get a subscription to a leadership magazine. Read as many books and articles on leadership as you can find. Get together with other women’s ministry leaders in your church or in the area to swap ideas and to pray together. Check yourself to make sure you’re delegating so you’re not in over your head task-wise. Remind yourself that you are allowed to say no to that most recent request that doesn’t fit into your schedule or your area of giftedness—and that when you say no, you are freeing up that opportunity for someone else to ref="http://nlt.to/Rm.12.8" target="_blank">Romans 12:8 says, “If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously.” You are in a pivotal role to affect change and build the Kingdom of God within your church body. God hasn’t lightly placed you in the role that you’re in. And you shouldn’t take it lightly either. Important work must be done. He has equipped you to do it. You cannot be expected to run on empty. If you are to lead others well, you must be leading yourself well. Love God, love the people in your care, and lead yourself—all the rest is just details.

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Three Ways to Kill a Small Group

You’ve worked hard to prepare for your first small group: the invitations have been sent, the curriculum selected, the brownies baked. Everything you need for an amazing small-group experience! Except…it’s not that easy. It takes much more than good marketing to make a small group actually thrive. And if you aren’t careful, you can kill yours in three easy steps:

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Has God Called You? Discerning the Call to Preach

Has God called you to ministry? Though all Christians are called to serve the cause of Christ, God calls certain persons to serve the Church as pastors and other ministers. Writing to young Timothy, the Apostle Paul confirmed that if a man aspires to be a pastor, “it is a fine work he aspires to do” (1 Tim 3:1, NASB). Likewise, it is a high honor to be called of God into the ministry of the Church. How do you know if God is calling you?

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